No matter your age, try these 11 tips for more positive interactions and smoother resolutions at home, at school, or at work!

“Raise your thoughts, not your fists.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo

1. Check yourself: Do you need time for your emotions to settle? Are you hungry, tired, stressed or sick? Give yourself time to cool off and treat your triggers before going into a hard conversation.
2. Reflect: Take time to think about what you’d really like to happen. What do you want the outcome to be? How do you want the conversation to go?
3. Go to the source. Talk to the person (or people) you’ve got a problem with directly. Don’t just talk to others about it, or about the other person.
4. Stick to first-person. Use “I statements” to describe the conflict. “I feel like X…”
5. Absolutely no absolutes. Avoid words like “always” and “never.” Keep it about what is happening now and how you feel about it.
6. Really listen. What are people really saying with their words, actions and body language? Read between the lines to gather more information.
7. Respect. Treat them as you want to be treated. Try to stay calm, kind, and choose your words wisely.
8. Take ownership for your part. Apologize if you need to. Usually in conflicts, we all have something we could have done better. It takes great strength and bravery to admit your part.
9. Get perspective. Investigate other points of view besides your own. Why do they feel the way they do? Why do they think that? Try to see if from their perspective.
10. Be creative. Work together to brainstorm win-win solutions and for a positive outcome.
11. Reflect again. End the conversation by discussing what you learned from the conflict, the conversation, and what you can each do differently or better in the future.

Sources: Camp Fire Conflict Resolution Pilot, Camp Fire, 2017. InterACTION. Camp Fire, 2014.

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You can encourage the kids and teens you know and teach them to how to develop a growth mindset.

And if you’re looking for more ways on how to encourage the youth in your life, here are some more great suggestions for how you praise them, and talk about success and failure.

3 Simple Ways to Grow a Growth Mindset

Kids with a growth mindset are strong & resilient!

Here’s how you can grow one:

Don’t give up!
Why? Developing our sparks takes time, courage and creativity. Passion plus practice is the formula for long-term success.

• Pay attention to mistakes: What can you learn?
• Increase your effort
• Try new strategies
• Ask for help
• Practice, practice, practice
• BELIEVE that you can figure it out!

Take care of your brain!
Why? Our brains need down time, fuel and exercise to work well, just like the rest of our body.

• Eat good food
• Get enough sleep (8-11 hours a night)
• Turn off the screen well before bed Challenge your mind
• Get outside! Move around!

Learn how to Learn!
Why? Learning is a skill! We can become better learners with attention, practice and experimentation. How do you learn best?

• Focus on one task at a time
• Involve all your senses – sight, smell, touch, taste, hear
• Stay curious
• Play games
• Ask your friends or family how they like to learn

SOURCES:

“Mindset Matters” Camp Fire Learning Lab [Internal Training Platform]. 2017.

“Brain Toolkit: An Owner’s Manual for the Teenage Brain.” Step it Up 2 Thrive. July 28, 2011. The Thrive Foundation for Youth.

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Because SPARKS lead to some pretty huge benefits.

Research shows that kids and teens who identify their Sparks, and nurture them with help from supportive adults, thrive. In so many ways, across all areas of life.

Kids who nurture their sparks with adult support are more likely to

• Attend school…
• …and be engaged there
• Get good grades
  • 70% get a 3.5 GPA or higher!
• Be healthy
• Care for the environment
• Be less depressed and anxious
• Have a positive attitude
• Have good social skills
• Feel they have a purpose in life
• Take fewer risks
  • with substance abuse, violence and unsafe sex
• Be satisfied with life
• Be adaptable
• Volunteer to serve others
• Have more energy and confidence
• Be creative
• Have hope for their future

SOURCES:

Benson, Peter L., (2008) Sparks: How Parents Can Ignite the Hidden Strengths of Teenagers. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Camp Fire. “Our Framework Ensures that Youth Thrive.” Campfire.org. 2017.
Search Institute. “Finding the Student Spark,” Insights & Evidence. November 2010.
Search Institute. “Sparks: A Gateway to Developmental Relationships.” search-institute.org. 2017.

Thanks Kate Sherron for this Sparks infographic!

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