No matter your age, try these 11 tips for more positive interactions and smoother resolutions at home, at school, or at work!

“Raise your thoughts, not your fists.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo

1. Check yourself: Do you need time for your emotions to settle? Are you hungry, tired, stressed or sick? Give yourself time to cool off and treat your triggers before going into a hard conversation.
2. Reflect: Take time to think about what you’d really like to happen. What do you want the outcome to be? How do you want the conversation to go?
3. Go to the source. Talk to the person (or people) you’ve got a problem with directly. Don’t just talk to others about it, or about the other person.
4. Stick to first-person. Use “I statements” to describe the conflict. “I feel like X…”
5. Absolutely no absolutes. Avoid words like “always” and “never.” Keep it about what is happening now and how you feel about it.
6. Really listen. What are people really saying with their words, actions and body language? Read between the lines to gather more information.
7. Respect. Treat them as you want to be treated. Try to stay calm, kind, and choose your words wisely.
8. Take ownership for your part. Apologize if you need to. Usually in conflicts, we all have something we could have done better. It takes great strength and bravery to admit your part.
9. Get perspective. Investigate other points of view besides your own. Why do they feel the way they do? Why do they think that? Try to see if from their perspective.
10. Be creative. Work together to brainstorm win-win solutions and for a positive outcome.
11. Reflect again. End the conversation by discussing what you learned from the conflict, the conversation, and what you can each do differently or better in the future.

Sources: Camp Fire Conflict Resolution Pilot, Camp Fire, 2017. InterACTION. Camp Fire, 2014.

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
September 24, 2017

$2.5 Million Investment from the S. D. Bechtel, Jr. Foundation to Build Camp Fire’s Capacity, Increase Impact, Serve More Youth

Kansas City, Mo. — The S. D. Bechtel, Jr. Foundation invested again in Camp Fire, a national youth development organization, with a generous grant of $2.5 million to help build organizational capacity and reach more kids and teens with its leading, research-based programs.

The $2.5 million will be distributed over a two-and-a-half-year period and will focus on leadership development for the staff and board; the continued expansion of Camp Fire’s online learning system to mobilize highly trained staff and volunteers; increase the local affiliate capacity across the country to deliver more high-quality programs; strengthen Camp Fire’s fundraising arm; and helping raise brand awareness nationally.

Previous investments in Camp Fire from The S. D. Bechtel, Jr. Foundation, totaling nearly $800,000 over the past two years, supported specific capacity building initiatives for both Camp Fire National Headquarters and the affiliate system. This new investment brings the Foundation’s total commitment to Camp Fire to $3.3 million.

“Camp Fire is honored to announce this investment and partnership with prominent foundations like the S. D. Bechtel, Jr. Foundation. The Foundation’s leadership continues to heavily invest in a big vision for how we can better teach, equip, and support America’s youth for maximum impact,” said Cathy Tisdale, President and CEO of Camp Fire National Headquarters. “This new investment will strengthen Camp Fire’s organizational capacity; support our innovation and growth; and take us to the next level in our ability to deliver Our Promise as we work with our 54 councils nationwide to improve the lives of hundreds of thousands of youth, their families, and their communities across the country.”

About Camp Fire

Camp Fire has been an innovative leader in youth development since 1910. Its proven programs give kids the life skills they need now so they can reach their full potential. Last year, Camp Fire’s 53 councils served more than 184,000 youth and families across 1,341 program sites, in 25 states and in D.C. All Camp Fire programs are based on cutting-edge research and founded on the pillars of Social Emotional Learning (SEL), delivered through Out-of-School-Time (OST) programs, environmental education and camp, and teen service and leadership development. Because youth shape the world, Camp Fire’s focus is on giving youth and teens the opportunity to find their spark, lift their voice, and discover who they are.

About the S. D. Bechtel, Jr. Foundation

Erin Risner, Director of Marketing & Communications, Camp Fire National Headquarters

816.285.2001, erin.risner@campfire.org

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You can encourage the kids and teens you know and teach them to how to develop a growth mindset.

And if you’re looking for more ways on how to encourage the youth in your life, here are some more great suggestions for how you praise them, and talk about success and failure.

3 Simple Ways to Grow a Growth Mindset

Kids with a growth mindset are strong & resilient!

Here’s how you can grow one:

Don’t give up!
Why? Developing our sparks takes time, courage and creativity. Passion plus practice is the formula for long-term success.

• Pay attention to mistakes: What can you learn?
• Increase your effort
• Try new strategies
• Ask for help
• Practice, practice, practice
• BELIEVE that you can figure it out!

Take care of your brain!
Why? Our brains need down time, fuel and exercise to work well, just like the rest of our body.

• Eat good food
• Get enough sleep (8-11 hours a night)
• Turn off the screen well before bed Challenge your mind
• Get outside! Move around!

Learn how to Learn!
Why? Learning is a skill! We can become better learners with attention, practice and experimentation. How do you learn best?

• Focus on one task at a time
• Involve all your senses – sight, smell, touch, taste, hear
• Stay curious
• Play games
• Ask your friends or family how they like to learn

SOURCES:

“Mindset Matters” Camp Fire Learning Lab [Internal Training Platform]. 2017.

“Brain Toolkit: An Owner’s Manual for the Teenage Brain.” Step it Up 2 Thrive. July 28, 2011. The Thrive Foundation for Youth.

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“I see a spark as something that inspires you to grow, and something that inspires you to help other people around you grow.”

These are wise words from Spencer, a Camp Fire counselor. We love this story: Spencer saw a spark in his camper Trey. Naming it changed Trey and their whole cabin community.

Some other things we can learn from Spencer and Trey’s story:

• Sparks can be social and emotional skills like Trey’s: making other people feel like they belong.
• Sparks are for using and encouraging now. Sure, Trey is thinking about how he’s going to use his spark in a future career, but his present life is bigger, fuller and happier because he’s using it today.
• Naming someone’s spark is powerful stuff. Trey says a key moment in his life was when Spencer both called out his spark and suggested an immediate way to develop it.

Still not convinced? See what science has to say. Here is a cool infographic with 16 benefits of Sparks!

This is what Camp Fire is all about. If your spark is similar to Trey’s—if you love to include and inspire others—we want to meet you! Volunteer at a Camp Fire near you. And if you know a kid who is still looking for their passion, sign them up to find their spark at a local Camp Fire.

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We know that sparks are the first step to thriving—to creating a healthy, purposeful life. What can help kids find their spark?

We can. But research shows that adults don’t always know it’s important to be spark-proactive. Only 55 percent of kids say they get support for their sparks from adults.

Adults are critical in kids’ sparks journeys. Not because we can assign passions to sparkless kids. But because we can get kids thinking and talking about sparks. We can earn their trust, start conversations and name the sparks we see come alive.

Adam Kisler, Camp Fire Heartland’s program manager, says it’s important to have sparks conversations in the context of a solid relationship.

“We want kids to know we’re not just one more person in their life who is going to tell them what to do.” Kisler says. “We want them to know people care about them and we’re not going anywhere.”

Building trust takes time, and good conversations take attention. Kisler says adults need to be careful not to talk too much. We can easily drown out a kid’s own passion by talking too much about our own! Remember to get down on their level—literally sit, bend or crouch down—and make good eye contact.

Once you’ve built up a solid foundation of trust, you’ve earned the right to start talking about sparks.

“Sparks questions are only as good as the atmosphere and trust we build around these kids,” Kisler says.

But sometimes we just don’t know what to say to spark the spark, you know?

Kisler likes to get kids started with questions that are really easy for kids to answer. Over time, Kisler and his Camp Fire staff build on those initial conversations by exposing kids to all kinds of possible sparks…and see what clicks.

• What are your hobbies?
• What do you like to watch on TV?
• What’s been the most exciting part of your summer so far?
• What did you do this weekend?
• What do you enjoy about that [hobby, show, thing you did]?
• Why do you think you enjoyed it?

If you have a close relationship with a kid who digs deep conversations, try Thrive Foundation for Youth’s suggestions. These questions start simple and get more complex:

Once sparks have become a common conversation topic, you can ask kids how you can help with their spark development. Try these questions from Dr. Peter L. Benson’s influential TED talk on sparks.

• What gives you joy when you do it?
• What interests or subjects are you really passionate about?
• What difference does what you do make to the world around you?
• Why is who you are and what you do important to you and the world beyond you?

Don’t forget: We’re in these sparks conversations together! Kids need more than just family members invested in their sparks. In Dr. Benson’s TEDx talk, he reminds us that kids with at least three grown-up Spark Champions just do better than those without adult support.

• What is your spark?
• Who knows it?
• How can I help?
• Where do you express it?
• What gets in the way?

That’s where Camp Fire comes in. We train our staff and volunteers to support kids’ passions. And our programs are designed connect kids and teens to their next Spark Champion. Find your Camp Fire, find your spark!

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Simply put, sparks are things you both love do to and want to do.

Sparks play a big role in the positive youth development movement. In the past decade, researchers with the Thrive Foundation for Youth, Search Institute and others have studied how kids discover, nurture and grow their sparks.

Let’s get a little technical. Sparks guru Dr. Peter L. Benson and Peter C. Scales write in the Encyclopedia of Adolescence (2011) that sparks can:
So what do American kids say their sparks are? The Search Institute has catalogued 200+ sparks reported by thousands of American teens. The most common categories of sparks are the arts (54 percent of kids name a creative spark), learning, reading, athletics and volunteering.

• Be an inner passion, interest or talent that is central to a person’s identity.
• Originate from inside a person, rather than being imposed from the outside.
• Be a source of intrinsic motivation, meaning and self-directed action that can help drive young people forth in other areas.

But the full list is long, varied and always expanding. From telling jokes to creating business plans to peacemaking to studying sacred books…anything can be a spark. If it gives a kid big-time joy and drives them forward in life, it’s a spark.

Although 100 percent of teenagers want to have a life-changing spark (or two!), only 62 percent have identified that purposeful passion.

Camp Fire exists to help kids find their sparks—and help adults become Spark Champions for the kids we serve. It’s the very first step in our Thrive{ology} framework, developed with our fellow spark-advocates, the Thrive Foundation for Youth.

Do you know a kid who needs to find a spark? A kid whose spark needs a little fuel to grow? A kid who needs a few more Spark Champions in her life? Camp Fire has programs to help kids discover and develop their sparks all year long. Find one by you! #FindYourSpark

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